VCs abandon old rules for a ‘funky time’ of investing in AI startups

Here's the thing — 'funky time' is code for 'we have no idea what we're doing.' VCs are jettisoning growth metrics, unit economics, and cohort analysis because AI companies can't be evaluated by them yet. That's not flexibility, it's panic. They're just praying the unicorn they backed gets acquired before the money runs dry.

This works short-term if you're a mega-fund with dry powder and limited downside. Everyone else? You're betting against your own judgment and calling it vision. Expect carnage in 2027 when 80% of these "unreasonable" bets crater and nobody had a thesis to begin with.